Coming undone
by slaughter77
Summary: One shot. Shawn contemplates a way out of his suffering. Can he find anyone to help him hold it together? TW: self-harm. Shawn/OC.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They're property of WWE and Vince McMahon.

* * *

He locked himself in the bathroom, it was small. The walls surrounding him were the only witness of the suffering he endured on his own. Shawn hid behind a tough mask but behind closed doors everything slipped.

Laying his hands over the sink for support as his eyes set directly on the dripping faucet. Trying to figure out the turmoil of feelings inside of him. _Was it self hate or self-pity?_ He was unsure but he wanted everything to stop. The voice loudly screaming inside of his desperate and lonely mind that he's made of the most terrible things.

The blond's usually sparkling emerald eyes were now showing a saddened look, filled by darkness and suffering. He knew there was no way out of this hell. Mindlessly, he lifted his head to take a look at the mirror above the sink. The man reflecting on the mirror wasn't like the one that could be seen on TV every monday night.

He groaned at the view. His hair was a mess. It wasn't shining and neatly brushed with delicacy, it landed everywhere around his face, tangled. Heavy, dark circles wrapped his emerald eyes which were now stinging with tears. _How had he dug so deep?_

A silent sob escaped his lips, barely announcing the beginning of the night for his tormented soul.

Slowly, tears began to find their way down Shawn's perfectly traced features. He was perfectly done, but unable to admire what everyone saw in him. He tried to, he really did but he couldn't find what was good in himself; all he could see was a worthless man looking back at him in the mirror.

Looking at the bag laying on the floor, he struggled to whether he should dive in and look for a little of self loathing. Nothing he'd never done before, but a small part of him was trying not to. Didn't want to.

' _I love you, Shawn.'_

A smile played along his wounded and chapped lips. She had this effect on him. She was the sun shining brightly against his window, telling him it wasn't over. She remind him of his own worth, the one he thought he'd long had gotten rid of.

Yet, the sorrow inside of him held him back, he was unsure on what to feel. He'd known suffering, he knew how to handle that. And even if loving felt natural with her, it just didn't feel right.

His muscles shook violently, tightening as he held back the whimper threatening to free from his tight chest. It felt excruciatingly tight. Tears ran freely down his face, stinging his emerald eyes. He swiped his hands over his face in a useless attempt to stop the tears from streaming down his face like a turbulent cascade.

When Shawn was able to see, his eyes went directly towards the bag he'd first ditched. But it seemed more appealing now, somehow, the methodical self-destruction appeared as a thing that he longed for.

He bent down to get his bag, placing it over the sink he initiated the search for the thing that allowed his problems to temporarily escape his body. A small metallic piece was held between his calloused fingers, his eyes cautiously eyeing the sharp edge wondering about the feeling it would bring against his tanned skin.

He hesitated as he placed the cold edge over his wrist. _To press or not to press?_ Closing his weary eyes, the edge glided naturally over his torn skin. Even the sun was unable to completely cover the slight lines that covered his wrist, he couldn't hide it. Yet no one saw.

'Shawn?' She called from outside the bathroom.

'Is everything okay?' She inquired, trying to turn the lock as she did.

Shawn barely had time to taste the sweet view of the crimson liquid escaping from his veins. He quickly wrapped his wounds with gauze and taped them. He pulled his wrestling gloves on before opening the door.

'Hello. When did you get here?' He asked. Masking his quivering voice with a husky tone.

'For a while now.. Why are you still wearing your globes?' She wondered, her green eyes carefully tried to look behind Shawn.

'I was about to take them off! I'm getting a bath. I feel exhausted.' Shawn faked a yawn as he tried to sneakily get back into his sad world.

'Let me in.' She commanded, her voice was sweet but firm.

'What?' His emerald eyes betraying him as they showed terror.

She stepped inside, looking at the blood shed on the sink, the sharp metallic piece with more blood to confirm her suspicions.

'Shawn..' She began, her voice trembling. 'Why won't you let me help you?' She pleaded. Placing her hand over his cheek to wipe the tears that were trickling down his cheek bones.

The blond man shook his head. He couldn't explain it, there were no words that could describe how he'd always follow the same path no matter what he did. The painkillers, alcohol, more drugs, parties. He couldn't stop.

'I want you to help me.' He admitted. Shawn had given up on himself a long time ago. But he was willing to try it all again just for her.

'That's exactly what I want to do too.' She smiled sweetly, reassuring.

The Texan walked forward, wrapping his wounded arms around her ignoring the stinging on them. He placed his lips over her forehead.

Shawn inhaled deeply closing his eyes, before exhaling and getting ready to face his problems with a little help. She had her ways to make him fall in love with her. He finally, didn't feel like he wasn't good enough with her. They complemented each other.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading! If you liked it or have any suggestions or critics they'd be highly appreciated! Hope you guys liked it.


End file.
